Poisoned Unforgiveness

 

Spooky season is upon us (more or less). Personally, I’ve already begun to enjoy spooky movies and have my Halloween costume planned. All the spooky vibes have come back, and this drawing is no exception. A simple bottle of poison, like any Disney villain would have. However, this poison isn’t some cartoony potion that might turn you into a llama. This is a poison that is rooted in reality, sneaky with its effects, and more common than you might realize.

Of course, I’m talking about unforgiveness. I’m sure you’ve heard the famous saying “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting it to kill the other person.” I know that sounds ridiculous, no one would drink poison expecting that. However, that’s exactly what unforgiveness is. Trust me, I’ve been there. In fact, I’ve been continuously going back there, despite knowing what I should do. But maybe, you and I can encourage one another in this walk of forgiveness.

First off, what is forgiveness? Does it mean just not caring about what someone did? Makes it less of an issue? Justify it even? Does it let them get off the hook for any consequences their actions would bring? Does it mean it no longer hurts? The answer to all those questions is no. When you choose to forgive, you may still care about it cause of the pain it caused. That pain may still be there, which doesn’t dictate whether or not you forgive them. It doesn’t justify what they did or free them from the consequences.

Then what is forgiveness? I’ll be honest, this has been something I have struggled to completely understand and put into words. Let’s try to understand it as the opposite of unforgiveness. Unforgiveness can be described as holding anger and resentment towards someone, refusing to show compassion towards them. Forgiveness can then be seen as choosing to release them of the anger and resentment you have towards them and showing compassion. I know, it’s easier said than done. However, there is one thing I have found to help me put the importance of forgiveness into perspective, and that is realizing how much God has forgiven us.

I believe God’s forgiveness is something that we as Christians often overlook or take for granted. So many of us do not realize how much we have truly been forgiven of. Even further, I believe a lot of us do not realize what could happen if God were to not forgive us. Matthew 6:14-15 says “For if you forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. But if you don’t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your offenses.” I feel we too often overlook that last part. None of us truly understand what could happen if God were to not forgive us. I was that way for the longest time, knowing I should forgive, knowing I wouldn’t be forgiven myself if I didn’t, but it wasn’t until recently that the weight of that unforgiveness became clear to me.

I recently had to read the book of Amos for a philosophy class (that I still don’t understand how it’s required for my degree). In this book, the prophet Amos is delivering a message of punishment and anger from the Lord to Israel. The Lord proclaims many ways that He will punish Israel for not repenting of their sins and asking for forgiveness. This is something we see time and time again in the Old Testament. However, one verse particularly hit me as I was reading this. Amos 8:7 says: “The Lord has sworn by the Pride of Jacob: I will never forget all their deeds.” Honestly, that scared me. See, God shows us countless times in the Bible that He will no longer remember our sins when He forgives us, such as in Hebrews 8:12. Seeing what happens when God does not show forgiveness to the Israelites truly put how good and sweet His forgiveness is into perspective for me. And I hope it puts it into perspective for you.

Seeing how a lifestyle of rebellion against God can bring such dire consequences, the fact that God spares us from His anger when we repent and ask for forgiveness shows us just how good and loving He is. Mind you, He’s not forgiving one or a handful of wrongs against Him when He forgives us. He’s forgiving a LIFETIME of wrongs when we repent. This is why we are to forgive, because we have been forgiven much (Matthew 18:21-35).

Okay so, God’s forgiveness is good, like really good. But why else should we forgive? It goes back to that little saying, that unforgiveness is poison. Notice how earlier I described unforgiveness as holding onto anger and resentment. Holding onto those negative emotions and letting them control you is detrimental for both your physical and spiritual health. The Proverbs constantly show how an angry person is foolish and only hurts those around him. See, unforgiveness doesn’t affect the person you refuse to forgive, it affects those who love you and want to help you through the pain causing that unforgiveness. And by the time you realize it, the damage has already been done.

I know this is all much easier said than done. This whole thing is as much of a reminder for me as it is for you. Here’s some encouragement. Forgiveness is a choice that frees you from that anger. It allows you to live your life without trying to get even, whether that’s retaliating with something worse, or trying to one up the person who hurt you, wanting to show that your life is better without them. Why make choices based on someone that has done such things? Why not make your choices based on what the Lord expects of you? He expects you to forgive just as He has forgiven you. And even though you may not feel like forgiving, and your own will may not allow you to, the Holy Spirit in you covers that forgiveness, allowing you to do so. See, when you realize it’s not by your strength but by God’s that your able to forgive, it becomes a lot easier. So don’t beat yourself up, thinking forgiveness is something you’re supposed to do as a Christian. It is something you get to do, you get to be free of that anger and resentment. By forgiving, you choose to place them in God’s hands, who is just and will deal with them correctly, better than we ever could. Leave them in God’s hands and choose to forgive.

I could go on and on about this, because forgiveness is a complicated process. If you want to know more, I highly recommend reading Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa TerKeurst (obviously not sponsored lol). I read it once over the summer and recently began to reread it with the accompanying journal. She explains all of this about forgiveness way better than my ramblings and really gets into the nitty gritty of unforgiveness and healing from whatever caused it. Hope this helps my friends <3.